Shutdown Shutdown
99% of CR fights end right before the other side caves
At a 7-Eleven in Crystal City/National Landing/Arlington during morning civil twilight on November 10, I filled up my vintage X-Treme Gulp mug of coffee—52 ounces, black—when I was approached by one of that store’s regulars who did something boring-but-essential over at National Airport (DCA). I had chatted with him about current events the last time I was in this town at this time, too, and knew he and I were on the same page about our disdain for President Donald Trump and the extremist MAGA Republican Party.
He asked me: “Hex, is it true? Did the Dems cave on the shutdown?”
I put the lid on my drink and closed my eyes. “I suppose that depends on your definition of ‘cave.’”
“So, it’s over?” He looked towards the fluorescent lights, though I knew he was thanking the heavens. I blinked. Not the reaction I had expected.
“Not yet. The House may not pass the revised bill. Or the president could veto it. Lots of things could happen—” While I rattled off procedural errata, his fists tightened. It was not even 6:30 a.m. and I had already been inundated in my group chats and social media feeds with Substackers, pundits, and other editorialists calling Democrats “feckless cowards.” Lost in the muddle were workers who were working unpaid during the longest government shutdown in American history (surpassing the previous record of 35 days, also held by Mr. Trump).
During the March fight over a different continuing resolution to fund the government, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer voted for cloture against most of the members of his party. I declared he caved and that this must be his last term. That funding expired on October 1, 2025. Democrats refused to vote for cloture until the GOP agreed to extend ACA subsidies cut by the Big Bitch Bill. In the absence of those subsidies, many Americans will see their premiums double or triple.
The last time I saw the price tag on an undiscounted insurance plan, I decided I did not need health insurance—if I got sick, I would have had to “enroll” in what Alan Grayson called the Republican healthcare plan: “die quickly.” Sometimes, when confronted with a price tag, even for something “essential,” all you can do is turn your pockets inside out and make a big, sad face. Mr. Trump’s Big Bitch Bill will force an estimated four to five million Americans into that position.
For 40 days and 40 nights, Democrats did not vote for cloture. Mr. Trump expected them to fold immediately and was surprised when they did not. He cut funding for infrastructure in New York and other blue states, laid off 4,000 or so federal employees, and declared he would cut “Democrat programs.” When that did not move the needle, he targeted food stamp recipients. SNAP, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, has an emergency fund, but the administration instead claimed there was no money.
This pain could not have been an attempt to bring Democrats to the negotiating table, because House Speaker Mike Johnson, or “MAGA Mike,” as they call him in the club, kept Congress closed for almost 60 days—no negotiation was possible. The House of Representatives was out of session for so long that I worried whether it had dissolved. Was the coup closer to completion than anyone noticed? I cannot put it past today’s GOP to derelict their every duty to protect Mr. Trump from the release of the Epstein files. Mr. Johnson has been a disingenuous, deplorable figure throughout this whole ordeal—I hate that his caucus has enjoyed their two-month paid vacation, those looters.
Mr. Trump also refused to meet with House and Senate Democrats for weeks (some suspected on account of his ailing physical and mental health). After he did, he posted AI videos depicting House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries in a mariachi hat and AI-altered voice clips of Mr. Schumer complaining about “woke bullshit.” Where there is no good faith, honest negotiation cannot occur.
As of November 2, SNAP benefits were frozen. A court ordered the administration to pay out the benefits, but instead of acceding, Mr. Trump appealed to the Supreme Court. These evil men would rather starve the Americans than give them affordable healthcare. Republicans are repugnant, reprehensible reprobates.
Air traffic controllers have been unpaid for 40 days, too. Many have stopped showing for work, resulting in degraded service. If you were in an airport over the weekend, you have complaints about the timeliness of your flight.
I doubt this stopped FBI director Kash Patel—or as I like to call him, “Kush Patel,” because that fool has got to be smoking something—from taking his private FBI jet from Washington, DC, to Nashville, Tennessee, every weekend for “romantic liaisons” with his “long-distance girlfriend” the “country music sensation” Alexis Wilkins. I fear one or both may be “leading the other on” or unable to commit if she will not at least agree to move within driving distance. And since We the People are financing this extravagant courtship, it is my business to say so!
Meanwhile, the brave men and women of the United States Armed Forces at home and abroad, military families, federal workers, and SNAP recipients stand in bread lines. Food pantries around the country are bare.
A handyman service I have done business with in the DMV e-mailed its customers to announce that, after COVID, inflation, tariffs, whatever the fuck DOGE did, and now this government shutdown, they closed their business. They could not weather Mr. Trump’s disastrous economy. How many other businesses will follow? A local carpet and mattress store has a going-out-of-business sign too, though as far as I can tell, they always do.
While Americans are hungry, the president mocks them by enjoying opulent parties. The first was a Great Gatsby-themed party, complete with burlesque dancers. Looked fun!
A friend of mine complained, “Do these Republicans understand the optics?” Then, more cheerfully, “Perhaps we will get them in the midterms. After all, if they are so misguided as to how they are perceived…” I reminded him that for Mr. Trump and his Republican servants, “the cruelty is the point.” They know what they look like, and they think it is hilarious.
After receiving criticism for that first party, Mr. Trump did not dial back further lavish adventures. He held another party, a big “opera and truffle” feast with an exotic Trump chocolate cake, the next weekend. He did not say, “Let them eat cake.” He said, “Watch me eat this mf-ing cake.”
As we reach mid-November and December looms, D.C. has started to see frost warnings. Soon will be the season when Americans will need LIHEAP, the Low Income Heating Assistance Program—yet another critical social safety net impacted during government shutdowns. Americans will not only be hungry, but grow cold, too. In some cases, that means frozen pipes, destroyed homes, frostbite, hypothermia, and death.
Mr. Trump’s party was “blown out” by the elections on Tuesday, November 5th. The best Democratic off-year elections in history! After the ass-beating, Mr. Trump realized that people hurt by the shutdown would not vote Republican. But unlike a responsible person, he eschewed negotiating in favor of throwing a tantrum and demanding an end to the filibuster (which I love; I am a great filibuster fanatic).
Eight Democratic defectors voted for cloture to begin the process of ending the shutdown. They are:
Dick Durbin (D-IL), Senate Minority Whip (!)
Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH)
Maggie Hassan (D-NH)
Tim Kaine (D-VA)
Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV)
Jacky Rosen (D-NV)
John Fetterman (D-PA)
Angus King (I-ME)
For those who say the party caved, I do not wholly disagree, but it is unhelpful for Democrats to dampen their own spirits and disparage themselves. We are a party rebuilding after the Great Loss in 2024—falling into a new funk is a mistake.
We chose a medium option. This was not the worst-case scenario—that would be if we had passed the continuing resolution as it was. The best-case scenario would be that the ACA, Medicaid, and SNAP cuts would be reversed, that Mr. Trump would be run out of town by a mob wielding pitchforks, and MAGA Mike Johnson would retreat to a monastery for the rest of his days.
We should have expected never to get a best-case scenario. The revised CR will curb the negative effects of the shutdown itself, extend SNAP funding until 2026, fund the government through the holidays and into the next year, protect federal employees during this and future shutdowns, and force Senate Republicans to vote on the ACA subsidies.
I do think that if the vote goes ahead without a veto or a filibuster, Senators Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, and Thom Tillis would agree to the extension. Senator Josh Hawley only helped pass the Big Bitch Bill because he was promised the opportunity to restore the slashed healthcare funding later, so he would either be a “Yea” or a hypocrite. If Republicans gave a shit about their constituents, they could pass it.
Now, will MAGA Mike Johnson allow this vote to take place in the House? Who knows? He has already implied he would not, because he is incapable of acting in good faith. These Democratic defectors may well have been “played” like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football in the comic strip Peanuts. I have no optimism that, after seeing Americans starve with no remorse, MAGA Republican extremists will now grow a heart. But there is a chance.
I am interested in hearing why both senators from Nevada and New Hampshire voted this way before I issue any hot takes, because, perhaps, they know their states better than I do, and they see something in their data that I do not. I understand that Mr. Kaine represents a state stuffed nuts-to-butts with Feds who need to be paid to eat and pay their rent and utilities, and therefore cannot begrudge him. Mr. Fetterman betrays Democrats for his own personal entertainment. Mr. King is inscrutable to me. But why Dick Durbin?
Senate Minority Whip Dick Durbin’s vote to end the shutdown is troubling. His boss and long-time former roommate, Mr. Schumer, voted against cloture. Why has the Minority Leader’s Minority Whip broken? Even though Mr. Schumer is on the right side of this, his failure to control his own Whip, to keep his caucus in line with his judgment, disqualifies him from leadership. The Democratic base and even casual observers have no confidence left in Mr. Schumer’s leadership.
Speaker Emeritus Nancy Pelosi will retire at the end of this term. Mr. Schumer ought to make his plans, too. He has given this country decades of service, but he no longer inspires and cannot unify or manage his caucus. We must have new leadership. Until the next term, Democrats have no power—except for this filibuster, which is ended—so now we will have nothing else to do but scrutinize our leaders.
The grim truth is that Republicans will starve voters to get what they want, and Democrats will not. While some voices wish our party had the stomach to hurt the American People the way Republicans do, to be honest, I vote Democrat because we are the party that does not do that.
When you are negotiating with hostage takers, and you take a hostage too, but only the enemy faction is willing to watch a hostage die and they are such sickos that they would receive sexual satisfaction from watching both hostages die, you will need different leverage if you want a good outcome. After the longest government shutdown in American history, we found no other lever. In which case, all we can do is try to minimize harm. I doubt that an indefinite shutdown would be good for Democrats, or anyone.
Some commentators believe that 99% of government shutdowns end right before the other side caves, that if there were more chaos, if we hit the final breaking point, then Republicans would become good. I think if we let things reach that breaking point, they break. I do believe the Democratic base wants that bedlam to satisfy their political id. I do respect that, and eventually this lust for chaos will need satiation. To borrow from The Bulwark’s Tim Miller, we should ask ourselves if we want the shutdown to continue because our aims will be achieved, or because it is emotionally satisfying?
Not everybody agreed to starve, freeze, or go without pay for “the cause.” If we make such life-crushing decisions on behalf of our countrymen, we have an obligation to ask, “Will this even achieve the desired result?” If it will not, how long should this go on? This affair has made plain obvious deficiencies in Democratic leadership, which ought to be rectified, but we should allow ourselves to feel satisfied with the outcome. We have been blessed with split-screen photographs of Americans in bread lines while Mr. Trump demolishes half the White House for a 90,000-square-foot ballroom—some Marie Antoinette shit—and drools lazily in his gilded resort with strippers. If all we got from it were those photos, that would be enough. They will ruin Mr. Trump today, they will ruin him in history books, and they will ruin him through eternity.
Up next is the discharge petition for releasing the Epstein files—our partisans should ready for that fight now.
Housekeeping notes: I have write-ups in progress of last weekend’s CrookedCon, the No Kings II rally in Washington, D.C. on October 18th. Please look forward to them!