Elon Musk should not purchase DC’s Line Hotel

(Unless he plans to do something cool with it)

UPDATE: Per Washingtonian, Elon Musk did not bid on the Line Hotel on Thursday.

Thursday, January 23, 2025 foreclosure auction will conclude for The Line Hotel at 1770 Euclid Street NW in Adams Morgan. The Eater has reported that Elon Musk is currently the top bidder for the historic property. Hopefully, some other patriotic high roller bids more at the last second, or a dramatic slash of lightning stops the auction. This must be nipped in the bud before it becomes an avoidable headache.

It is a nice building. It deserves better than to suffer as whatever sort of private club Mr. Musk imagines he would shape.

We already lived through the Trump International era in DC, when the Old Post Office became a sort of Cheers for the worst people and a legal front for presidential graft (forcing everybody still possessed of hope to memorize the world emoluments) or worse. Until I die, it will never make sense to me that the so-called Grand Old Party was never upset about a whole hotel existing to funnel money into a president’s family’s pockets when just twenty years prior they were scandalized by President Bill Clinton’s scam of renting out the Lincoln bedroom to donors. But one should never expect moral consistency from today’s Republican Party—in fact, their politicians and donors abruptly stopped using the hotel when it became a Waldorf-Astoria. Sadly, President Trump, apparently unsatisfied by his launch of the scam $Trump cryptocurrency as a vehicle for bribery, seems to want to buy back the lease.

When did we agree this should be a normal way to operate in Washington? Set up an office and open a business so lobbyists can buy access directly with expense accounts?

I have a suggestion for Mr. Musk. Instead of a private club, where other billionaires might pay him for influence, he should consider creating a public nightclub. Fur and Ibiza closed a long time ago, and the destruction of Nation to construct a parking garage for the Nationals Stadium was a damnable tragedy. Echostage, 9:30 Club, and a handful of other small venues are all the nightlife left. Mr. Musk could make Line into a place for parties, real parties, hard parties, the sort where everybody else also uses the ketamine he enjoys. Even I would thank him, and perhaps he could start to find that popular love he has been seeking. He might even meet a nice alternative lady there, who could help him forget about Grimes.

Otherwise, does anybody believe that Mr. Musk has always been interested in getting into the hospitality business? No, no, this is meant to be a gathering place for other wealthy industrialists, so that they can pay him, and his fake government department DOGE can take their needs into account when making recommendations on how best to fuck America’s working people.