Confirming Pete Hegseth is a Bad Thing

Unfortunately, today’s Republican Party likes to do bad things.

I was impressed by Peter Hegseth’s performance at his confirmation hearing for the United States Secretary of Defense. He was articulate, bright, clean, and a nice-looking guy. Hardly what I was promised—from the way he was described by his colleagues at Fox News and even his mother, I was expecting some still-drunk, sweating pig to roll in with his gin-damp shirt untucked and penis half-exposed. Instead, the morning show host arrived dressed, sober, and refrained from shouting about “kill[ing] all Muslims.” A round of acclamation.

Otherwise, he was a disgrace. It was clear that even Republicans (the ones who were not goons) on the U.S. Senate Committee on Armed Services felt the same, but Donald Trump’s GOP, frankly, likes to do bad things.

In fairness, Democratic senators did not exactly galvanize, either. They asked good, smart questions, but were not prepared for the whoremaster’s evasions. They should have been.

Mr. Hegseth did not meet with Senate Democrats in advance to answer questions privately—which is the standard—and the hearing itself was limited to a single round of seven-minute questions, whereas three rounds are the standard. Senate Republicans suspected the American People would disapprove and ridicule the nominee if he were subject to more than the briefest scrutiny—Hell, if those supposed leaders listened to the man talk more than the bare minimum, they could not vote in the affirmative with good conscience (or a straight face). In other words, the GOP designed the ordeal so that a Secretary of Defense could be coronated against their own better judgment, because, I assume, disregarding conventional morality and exercising bad judgment is fun for them.

This is shameful. Committee Chair Senator Roger Wicker (R-MS) ought to resign.

To be generous, the weekend anchor of Fox and Friends is an untraditional candidate for the complex role of overseeing the nation’s war machine. To be honest, he has made his money being an asshole on television. Chairman Wicker, unironically, said that Americans were tired of division and partisanship, then described the twice-divorced drunk as someone representing unity—shortly after Ranking Senator Jack Reed (D-RI) had read aloud a quote from Hegseth decrying Democrats as “enemies” with whom he had “nothing in common.” Not even America, sir?

Mr. Hegseth was repeatedly questioned about his abuse of alcohol and women. He claimed that he was saved from many “personal struggles” by Jesus Christ, but also that any allegations of drinking and whoring were the product of “anonymous smear campaigns”—except when he was accused of rape, then that was merely getting too fucked up and having casual sex with someone who would go on to call the police on him to be mean, or something.

Here is how I know the Fox host is a liar: When told, repeatedly, by Senator Tim Kaine (D-VA) that there were, in fact, names attached to those accusations, he never stopped to ask “Who?” Instead, he continued to claim allegations he had just been told were not anonymous, were anonymous. A more innocent person would presumably be curious to know who was talking shit, but the nominee assumes—maybe rightly—that facts can be shouted away. Members of the Party of Family Values ought to have been interested in learning more about these named witnesses if they were advising and consenting in good faith. They were not.

(For some reason, Mr. Kaine declined to name witnesses to Mr. Hegseth’s depravity, so the public was failed by all sides.)

Ominously, Mr. Hegseth repeatedly refused to answer questions about whether he would have Americans shot in the streets by the military, instead lamely insisting that the last time Mr. Trump tried to order the National Guard to replicate Kent State might have been justified.

Senator Kevin Cramer (R-ND) complained about “hypothetical” questions regarding Mr. Hegseth’s actual statements and actions, before citing to a time when he imagined all of America’s men and women in uniform applauding the nomination (“everybody clapped”).

“How many genders are there?” “How many pushups can you do?” are some inquiries smirking sycophants thought worthy of the seven minutes they had to ask questions to determine whether or not to trust this man with command of the strongest, most lethal fighting force in the world

I came away from this hearing feeling bleak. What surprised me the most was how adamantly these so-called conservatives refused to engage with core principles they held a decade ago. See Senator Markwayne Mullin (R-OK), who more closely resembles the still-drunk, sweating pig rolling in with an untucked shirt and an exposed penis I had imagined:

“What if you showed up drunk to your job? How many senators have showed up drunk to vote at night? Have any of you guys asked them to step down and resign from their job? And don’t tell me you haven’t seen it, because I know you have. And then how many senators do you know have gotten a divorce before cheating on their wives? Did you ask them to step down?”

For the Party of Lincoln now, nothing is true and everything is permitted. If Mr. Hegseth was sober—great. If he were to stumble into the Situation Room stinking of gin, well, that’s fine. If he were a virtuous worshipper of Jesus Christ, wonderful, but adultery is also excusable, and maybe so is rape. National defense is the greatest priority, but you cannot expect the Defense Secretary to know anything about that. If this hard-drinking, heavily-tattooed philanderer were one of President Biden’s nominees, these deficiencies would not be ignored, and the National Review’s cover cartoon would mock Mr. Mullin.

Mr. Mullin could have stopped there, but he is an idiot. He then insisted that Mr. Hegseth made “a mistake” and thanked Jennifer Rauchet for forgiving his adulteries (Carrie Underwood, preparing for her inauguration concert, must be seething).

Mr. Mullin continued:

“The only reason I’m here and not in prison is because my wife loved me too… my wife has had to forgive me for more than once too.”

What the fuck skeletons are in this man’s closet? Regardless, this bro’s help certainly left Mr. Hegseth sleeping in the doghouse.

I have one suspicion, which should disturb any American. Mr. Trump seeks out these nominees who know nothing but have depraved backgrounds because it gives him great leverage if they ever fail to obey his evil commands. All that orange clown ever has to say is, “You know, ‘Sloppy Pete’ told me he would be sober, but it turns out he has an alcohol problem, and you can’t be the Defense Secretary if you’re a drunk. I had to fire him!”

What other reason could he nominate such a wretch, save that he finds some value to exploit from the corruption? At the speakeasy beside the White House, the Off The Record bar in the basement of the historic Hay Adams hotel, I have heard the laments that “character no longer counts” with today’s Republican leaders, and more than one person has claimed to concoct the phrase “defining deviancy down” on the fly. I think this moral rot is real, and that it has already rendered the Party of Lincoln maimed and ruined. But we ought to remember why it matters whether or not a man’s vices exceed their virtues.

Mr. Hegseth could not say whether he thought a rapist could be worthy of the seat he vied for, and he has been accused of rape. Mr. Hegseth promised to abstain from drinking he also downplayed that alcohol abuse as a fabrication, meaning that he has not even come to Step One: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” He hinted it could be justifiable for the United States Military to kill United States citizens protesting inside the United States. He hates half of America. This lunatic could end up drunk driving tanks to go cheat on his wife, and we can expect the Donald Trump Republican Party to call it divinely inspired.