America needs its sense of smell.
Corrupt President Trump offers his friends every favor, his enemies fear.
Finally, we have finished talking about former President Joe Biden’s age for the ninth month in a row. Thank you, Jake Tapper, for cracking the case and proving, once and for all, Mr. Biden is elderly. Now, the country can get back to discussing the current President Donald Trump’s more urgent crashout.
For no particular reason, I have been watching the 1978 BBC classic I, Claudius. In the episode Reign of Terror, wherein the good Senator Gallus was arrested and accused of treason by Praetorian Prefect Sejanus (played by a young Patrick Stewart who resembles Senator Rand Paul), then beaten and executed, one monologue struck me as relevant:
Gallus: I have watched your career with fascination…. It has been a revelation to me. I never fully realized before how a small mind, allied to unlimited ambition, and without scruple, can destroy a country full of clever men. I have seen how frail is the structure of a civilization before the onslaught of a gust of really bad breath! Yes. But I suppose you are not really the destroyer. We must look elsewhere for that. You are merely the putrefaction that spreads after death—the outward and visible sign of its presence. You are a lesson in history to me…, [p]roving that, above all, mankind needs its sense of smell.
While I still hold to hope that America is not already at the “after death” part of its story, the last few weeks of the second Trump era have been, as Vice President JD Vance described immigrant communities to The New York Times’s Ross Douthat, “truly premodern” in its principles. Mr. Trump seeks to take us back to the days before the Magna Carta, to a world where the country is subjected not just to rule by a king, but by unconditional compliance to its leader’s whims even when he is visibly mad and degraded.
It seems doubtful, for example, the arrest of Representative Monica McIver was intended for any purpose beyond scaring Democrats from figuring out what the fuck the masked thugs of ICE (who may see the inside of the Hague, when this is all through) are doing. Despite claims during his Inaugural address he would “rebalance[]” “the scales of justice” and “end” the “vicious, violent, and unfair weaponization of the Justice Department and our government,” Mr. Trump is using the “immense power of the state … to persecute [his] political opponents.” They have opened criminal probes into disgraced former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo; New York Attorney General Letitia James, who prosecuted and secured a civil fraud judgment against the Trump Organization; and Chris Krebs and Miles “Anonymous” Taylor, former officials from his first administration who have been mean to him.
To shill for somebody other than myself for once, because he will need the money, Mr. Taylor’s 2023 book “BLOWBACK: A Warning to Save Democracy From Trump’s Revenge” ought to have been purchased in bulk by former Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign and mailed to every American before election day. Unfortunately, Mr. Taylor’s apocalyptic predictions were unheard by the voters.
Former FBI Director and crime novelist James Comey, to whom Mr. Trump ought to be more grateful, took a photo of seashells arranged to say “8647,” which was then mischaracterized as a call for Mr. Trump’s assassination. The Secret Service was sent to “question” (intimidate) him over this Instagram post.
I remain chafed at the way Mr. Trump and his servants will pretend to be unable to comprehend idiomatic language or figures of speech in anything but the least charitable way, then present abhorrent images of their own (such as suggesting former Representative Liz Cheney face “nine [guns] shooting at her” then insisting this was not an allusion to a firing squad) while claiming their adversaries are reading them unfairly. Mr. Trump cannot, in good faith, call “nine guns” peaceful speech and the restaurant slang “86” illegal or violent, but then, I doubt even Mr. Trump’s supporters expect good faith from such a bad man.
News coverage of this has been especially disingenuous because “8647,” “8646,” “8645,” et cetera, can be found on hundreds of t-shirt designs on Amazon and Spreadshirt (home of the Partisan Hex “Trump Is a Bitch” merchandise store). Many of Mr. Trump’s voters have purchased “8646” shirts, though I doubt that they now resemble the Awkward Look Monkey Puppet meme.
I am not inclined to defend Mr. Comey, and think if anyone deserves to have their face eaten off by the leopard they freed (which is an idiom relating to the popular subreddit), it is the former FBI director. Nonetheless, anybody engaged in the sale of antagonistic political merchandise ought to band together in his defense. As America’s first meme said atop a picture of a segmented snake: we must Join or Die.
During an interview between James Comey and The Bulwark’s Tim Miller, the former FBI director said something I found deplorable: “After the election in November, I was thinking I’ll just withdraw…. [I]t’s been a useful kick in the pants to me. And that is you can’t withdraw. And I’m a little embarrassed to admit I was trying to withdraw. And the stupid seashell thing in a way has said, no, you got to get back out there and speak. And so, I think I can talk about the rule of law. I wish I didn’t have to, but we all have to right now.” Or, paraphrased, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”
Mr. Comey, like many Americans, already recognized this administration’s odiousness, but he had hoped to ignore it and stay retired, enjoy his long walks on the beach, the churl.
The second Trump administration’s War on Harvard has been characterized in two ways: (1) a Viktor Orban-style takeover of the nation’s universities to crush dissent; or (2) Mr. Vance and his weird ilk grinding axes because they were mocked by mean liberal professors and have since nursed Columbine-esque revenge fantasies against their schools.
Harvard’s so-called sins have never been articulated with clarity—antisemitism? Chinese espionage? Too much DEI? Insufficient conservative representation? But reporting indicates the version of events that makes the administration look the stupidest most resembles reality. While brainstorming ways to punish America’s oldest university, the administration’s buffoons mistakenly sent an early draft of ridiculous demands, including letting the federal government audit and control the university’s admissions, curricula, and the student body’s political views. The university could not accede to this, so now the Trump administration, unable to retrench, has escalated its campaign “to bring Harvard to its knees.”
The Department of Homeland Security, for some reason, has decided Harvard’s international student program poses a “national security threat,” citing “persistent noncompliance” and “ties to hostile foreign actors.” New student visas were revoked. China has “generously” offered scholarships to many of these displaced students—particularly those from Hong Kong and the mainland—so if Mr. Trump’s goal is to help China win the next great tech arms race, he is succeeding.
Hopefully, the courts straighten this one out.
Senator Ted Cruz’s lack of response to the federal assault on his alma mater—“nourishing mother”—is disloyal, even by the standards of a man who enthusiastically backs a leader who (1) called his wife ugly and crazy, (2) accused his father of killing JFK, and (3) leaked rumors he was a serial adulterer (a story that led to my favorite quote from Mr. Cruz: “Let me be clear, Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him.”)
Mr. Cruz once, from the Senate chamber, assured the country he would stand against any president, even one from his party, who attempted to suppress free speech. But has even tried to protect the institution that gave him the tools, vocabulary, and status to posture as a constitutional guardian? Of course not. While I do believe Mr. Cruz understands his principles, he has chosen this decade to refrain from acting on them.
It is not easy to find the motive to rush to the defense of an Ivy League hedge fund in possession of a university. Harvard commands the loyalty of some of the world’s most powerful men. If anyone could win a legal war with the federal government, it is the school that educated nearly half the Supreme Court. But I do not believe these attacks will end with the prestigious institutions. At some point, the sad, smaller state schools will also have to choose what they need to do if they intend to survive.
Mr. Trump defended accepting what many people are now calling Qatar Force One, a $400 million luxury jet (to serve first as Air Force One and then some other purpose in his presidential library) from the Emir of Qatar by saying, “I could be a stupid person and say, ‘No, we don’t want a free, very expensive airplane.’” This called to mind HBO’s The Wire, where Senator Clay Davis declared: “I’ll take any motherfucker’s money if he’s giving it away.”
Now, to the Republicans’ credit, this transparent corruption was noticed by these senators: (1) Rick Scott flagged Qatar’s Hamas funding; (2) Ted Cruz told his podcast audience it presented an espionage risk (ditto for Shelley Moore Capito); (3) Susan Collins insisted it violated the emoluments clause; (4) Rand Paul criticized the optics of foreign gifts; and (5) Josh Hawley insisted that the American president have his plane made in America. It was also noted that even typical sycophants like Erick Erickson, Laura Loomer, Ben Shapiro, and Mark Levin all called this unethical.
Despite stating in public they understood why this “gift” was an unacceptable, problematic, and grotesque bribe, none of these senators voted for Senate Resolution 244 “affirm[ing] that … the Foreign Emoluments Clause of the Constitution of the United States renders the acceptance and transfer of a plane from the Government of Qatar, without the explicit consent of Congress, an illegal emolument… and demands the transfer of any plane received by President Donald J. Trump or entities under the control of President Trump… to the permanent control of the United States Government.”
The senators all agreed with the premise: “accepting a plane from a foreign government poses counterintelligence and other national security concerns, such as the insertion of listening devices on the plane,” and “acceptance of a substantial gift from a foreign government could unduly influence the foreign policies of the United States.” They are aware it will cost a billion dollars to “install[] multiple top-secret systems that enable secure Government communications, midair refueling, and missile defense and that protect against electronic jamming and electromagnetic pulse attacks,” and, even then, it would “only be ready near the end of the term of office of President Trump, at which time the plane will be turned over to the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library… [at the expense of] the United States Air Force, rather than by President Trump himself.”
AMAC Aerospace’s “tech specs” for Qatar Force One were taken down, presumably out of chagrin, but can be found here via the Internet Archive: 200707_AMAC_Aerospace_Mini_Tech_Spec.pdf. When I first read this story, I misread it as a product of “AMC Aerospace,” which I thought could be a luxury-plane-oriented spinoff of AMC Theatres. I noticed its leather recliners look like the one I sat in while watching Marvel’s The Thunderbolts*. It does seem like it was built for the same general experience—it has “[five] Global Entertainment Servers for [Audio Video On Demand],” thirteen Blu-ray players, a range of 17-inch to 55-inch televisions, and hookups for Sony PlayStations, as well as two kitchens, a VIP lounge, a banquet hall for twelve, and a master bedroom. It sounds lovely, but not worth the trouble. I promise, America does not need our president to be so comfortable.
Mr. Trump’s unprincipled pardons have become a reward to grant indulgences to $TRUMP coin-buyers and his other sycophants. Recent recipients of clemency included: a sheriff caught with a bag of cash, reality show tax cheats, and damnable January 6 insurrectionists. There is talk of letting the men who tried to kidnap and murder Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer off the hook and even George Floyd’s killer Derek Chauvin, if the sickos get their way.
“Eagle” Ed Martin, the current pardon attorney who I believe was transported to this Earth from the Conservapedia’s alternate universe, tweeted: “No MAGA left behind.” This does not sound impartial; it suggests loyalty to the political movement is sufficient cause for a pardon. A fine philosophy if you want to encourage people to commit crimes in furtherance of your cause, and a terrible one for maintaining a just society. Mr. Martin is past that, though—instead of a shining city on a hill, he would prefer a grim fortress, illuminated by lightning strikes, from whence the grotesque orange king he worships can plot and oppress.
A classic joke told in DC bars is that there is one check on the president’s pardon power: shame—which, in the case of Mr. Trump, is no constraint. Most offensive about this abuse are the unnecessary attempts to paint these lucky ducks as innocent, as if not only had they been granted grace and freed from the slammer, but that somehow made them innocent and rendered magically false the facts which led to their conviction by judge and jury.
What unifies this administration’s sense of justice is not that they aspire to a lower or higher standard of fairness—they have dispensed with the concept. What they want, I think, is to reward themselves, spare their friends, and punish their enemies, to pay out fear or favor, ill will, or affection, based solely on political allegiances.
It should be no revelation that the Mandarin Mussolini, who promised his two-minute hate rallies “[he] will be [their] retribution,” would be using the powers of the state to hurt his perceived enemies. But I think we have not reckoned with whom, exactly, the target of his vengeance is: America herself.
My friends, I am at a total loss as to how to stall or stop the calamity of calamities these monstrous tyrants seek to effect on the country. The destruction Mr. Trump has brought to the markets, the federal workforce, LGBT, Muslim, and immigrant communities, people with disabilities, and retirees—only makes sense to me when viewed as a deliberate reign of terror. And the targets I care most about are not James Comey or Harvard, both of whom have the resources and moral obligation to let this be their test. No, the targets I care the most about are myself, and of course you, Dear Reader.
The most powerful response we, the people, can have to this malevolent governance is to never shut the fuck up about it. Since there will be no good outcomes from most of Mr. Trump’s policy priorities and impulses, we should ensure their “stench” is not ignored. Such moral rot implies the existence of the morally dead, who do not need to be tolerated but should be buried, or exhumed and analyzed.
I can find this infection inside my soul, too. We cannot be exposed to this dangerous memetic environment for this long without consequence to our spiritual health. When a doctor insisted I had hypertension and should take medication, I insisted to him my blood pressure was fine. The phlebotomists at the DC American Red Cross chapter, where I used to donate, always said it was perfect. I felt like I had been possessed by a minor Trumpist demon as I denounced a routine BP screening for telling me something I would rather not hear. Because I will not stop drinking coffee at night and ranting about the orange dotard. I am not taking a walk and trusting the world to settle down without me. Doctors say I should, but I know my heart’s needs better than any medical professional.
Lately, it has become fashionable to call this “Trump Derangement Syndrome” or “TDS.” The GOP seems intent on medicalizing it for real (another instance of Republicans failing to understand idiomatic speech). There have been suggestions to include it in the DSM, and a bill was proposed to appropriate funding from researching real health conditions to have the NIH study it as a mental illness. I presume this implies a future threat to Cuckoo’s Nest me. I will plan to volunteer for the trials if they offer cash, because if I must live in Donald Trump’s America, I prefer the lobotomy.
I do not think, as of the end of May 2025, the American people have regained that “sense of smell” in large enough mass. If we had, we would not have lost weeks of the news cycle to Mr. Tapper’s gossip book. I do not believe the public thinks things are going “well”—the president’s approval rating remains underwater, though slightly improved now that the national focus wandered back to Mr. Biden—but when I see people laughing and smiling and smoking THC cartridges on the National Mall, I fear too many are still carefree. I want to shout at them: “Beware! Those vape pens are not fooling anyone, and if the Park Police catch you, you have no idea where they will send you.”
The air is thick now. There are enough obvious abuses of power that ignorance is willful. Soon, there will be sickness and choking. We must not be distracted. We must keep at the alarum.