Dear Messrs. Akash Bobba, Edward Coristine, Luke Farritor, Gautier Cole Killian, Gavin Kliger, and Ethan Shaotran:
If you receive a court order to stop what you are doing, obey. Do not ignore instructions from any judge or Congress—their branches of government are equal to the Executive empowering you, and your world will be ruined if you fall on the wrong side of a constitutional crisis.
Mr. Musk entrusted you boys with a terrible purpose and responsibilities exceeding your years. This is not your fault. Society expects you to be smoking good weed on beaches with half-naked girls, not participating in reckless, secretive government spending reform. When things get dark, your lives will be happier if you resign, confess, and flee the capital.
I understand the appeal of working alongside your heroes, doing some epic, paradigm-shaking task—a Great Work! That is not what is happening. You were not selected for your competence, wisdom, or experience, but for your lack thereof. You might well be good with the computers, your memes could be “dank,” and you think Mr. Musk views you as “based” and loyal. None of these are forensic accounting, human resources, public policy, legal or Constitutional scholarship, supply chain logistics, contract law, or other skills that an honest audit would call upon.
You were chosen because you were reckless enough to take the job despite lacking knowledge of the legal peril, not because you are loyal—loyalty requires more time to solidify than you have given—rather, Mr. Musk thinks you naïve enough to be unquestioning. Inevitable screwups shall be attributed to your inexperience, not Mr. Musk’s. You will fall. Not him.
What final reward do you imagine? Do you believe Mr. Musk will give you lifelong patronage? He is well-known for betraying his every friend, insulting and harassing them afterward, and then recreating their businesses as his own. Ask NeuroVigil’s Philip S. Low, or OpenAI’s Sam Altman. Kara Swisher can give you the litany. Best-case scenario: At the end of this, you are privileged enough to become somebody’s blood boy. Worst case: you go to jail in Mr. Musk’s stead, while he continues to “k-hole” and never makes it to Mars.
This is Washington. From the outside, it looks like the city lurches from crisis to crisis—and it does that, too—but this city rewards long-view thinking and planning. The things you were asked to tear down were built over decades and meant to last, so that the children of tomorrow will be less hungry, have cures for diseases, and can access all the great American institutions and opportunities we had before January 2025.
Perhaps this does not matter to you—when I was your age, I expected to be dead at 27, like Jim Morrison of The Doors, and did not give a fuck what outlived me. Yet here I am, wagging my finger. The next ten years, then twenty, then fifty, are not a dim shape. You will live in them. What is “lit” to break today will haunt you tomorrow, when all the consequences fall on you and any cruel pleasures from laying off people who need to feed their families are dimly remembered. Mr. Musk, meanwhile, will be happily insulated by his money.
Did Mr. Musk insinuate your work would be anonymous? If so, he has already lied to you—purposefully and disrespectfully. He knows fully your identities and actions will be written indelibly in the public record forever.
I worry for you. You should fear for yourselves, too. You are “fall guys” getting played by someone transparently Machiavellian. You could still have great futures waiting for you, so long as you do not become known for cruelty, recklessness, destroying the Constitutional republic, breaking the government, or dismantling the lives of federal employees.
Today, February 10, 2025, I do not expect these words to reach you. If you read them, you will surely scoff. I understand this. But there will be a moment—maybe soon—when you will have a final opportunity to escape this shitshow. Whatever you choose, I could never be at peace if I thought you had not been warned. This is the warning. Do not be a martyr for Mr. Musk. Take notes, print them, and keep them locked someplace secure, so that if he tries to make you his scapegoat you have some defense. Otherwise, you will burn so he can remain comfortable. Do not remember this month as the one that ruined your life. Please, be thoughtful, careful, and honest with yourself.
- Hex